Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
