My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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