My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
