No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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