just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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