No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He did a backflip because drugs
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
