I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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