By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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