It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think I am morally bankrupt
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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