So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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