I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize