p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
