Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
