I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
