Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
