Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize