No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
