I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
