she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
