I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
