I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
