Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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