I want to make a zoo with you.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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