TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
