This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
