i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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