There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
