I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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