But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
