Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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