Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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