It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
