I faked an abortion last night.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
