have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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