JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
