...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
