i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
