This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
