Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i will never coherently bang her
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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