By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
