If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
