Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
