I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
