i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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