Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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