That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
