Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I made him laugh his dick is mine
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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