I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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