Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You have to summon your inner elephant
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
