Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
