Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
