I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
