just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
