The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
