Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
