3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
