Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
