im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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