Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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