Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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