I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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